Search Engine Terms No 1

Some body came across this blog searching for coffin bdsm.  O.O wtf?!?

I am really really really really really not interested in what your fetish exactly is. But I wonder, why you found this blog with it… Giving you some credit, you wouldn’t want to see the pictures in my head.

Will it help if I put soap in my left ear until bubbles come from the right ear?

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Niger

Over the time I have been writing this blog, I’ve had some trackbacks which make it necessary to explain one thing:

Niger is (among other things):

  1. a country in western Africa
  2. a river in Africa, closely related to 1. or Nigeria
  3. a Latin adjective, meaning black

I have received some trackbaks due to number one, but I have to disappoint you: the meaning here goes by number three. “Papilio Niger” is Latin for “black butterfly”. So, my apology to everyone, who comes here, looking for stories about the Republic of Niger or Africa in general.

LARP Freak?

Today at my university’s cafeteria:

I guy wearing leather holstery containg one glass bottle with red fluid and another one with blue fluid on his belt. The holstery was embroided with a metal button with seemingly Viking knot pattern. Which roleplaying game had he been playing too much? WOW,  Sacred, Diablo,   …   well this list could be rather long.

Anyway, queueing up behind him for food, I really considered putting on my hood, pulling my Palestinian head scarf over my face, and poking him in the back yelling “back-stabbing”. Wearing all black I’d be a perfect D&D assassin ^^ Well, the 26-yo-me and the 2×13-yo-me had a quick rock-paper-scissors contest, which 26-yo-me won, so I didn’t do it. I think, I’ll do it next time. Even though I might not be allowed to sit with my colleagues that day. 😀

White Christmas

staff party!

When I woke up on Friday about 5cm of snow were covering Hannover. As I didn’t look out of the window I only realised that, when I left for work. Nice. I was totally not clothed for snow, so I headed up the stairs and changed. It snowed all day long, so currently Hannover is Winter-Wonderland!

Friday night our Christmas staff party took place. With all the snow outside a wonderful setting. Still we stayed inside in our cozy building. Even though meteorologists say, there won’t be a white Christmas, I at least had a kind of white Christmas! (Meteorologists are poor sports!! 😛 And I don’t really believe them, as it is still freezing fucking cold outside.)

At our party, we had a nice buffet – the warm stuff ordered from a catering service and salads and desserts provided by the colleagues, cookies and nuts and oranges and our boss read some Christmasstories, which were really funny. We also had Feuerzangenbowle. Although I really have a very low tolerance for alcohol, I like that special drink. See, people often claim “the last <alocholic drink> was spiked/bad/ whatever”, for me it would be “the first…”. I usually have only a very little bit of Feuerzangenbowle  into a cup and fill up with orange juice, I also drink lots of non-alcoholic drinks during the evening, so I won’t feel bad. Didn’t work on Friday night. Initially, I felt quite alright, but after I came home, I started to get stomache ache and felt generally very unwell, which lasted well into Saturday. So being – as far as I know – very very European, could I please get some more European-like alcohol tolerance?

Buying Shoes

Women should go “YAY! Buying shoes! I LOVE it!”. Men are a little shyer, more like “I need new ones”.

Despite being female myself, I totally am with the men on this issue. I don’t own many shoes,  I don’t want many shoes. An for christ’s sake I do fucking hate buying shoes. But my beloved winter boots are beyond any help since yesterday evening, so I had to go shopping for shoes!

I have to admit, I am difficult. I have large feet (shoe size 7 or 8), I have wide feet, I don’t buy sneakers or anything that looks like sneaker, because I consider sneaker ugly, my lower legs are rather athletic, so I don’t fit in most of the boots’ shafts,  and I only wear black – so no brown shoes for me. Oh, and I’m a bit picky about heels – no fucking way I am going to wear something like 7cm heels during winter.

The first thing I learned this year: it’s en vogue to wear skinny jeans in your boots. So probably no boots for me. Not because I would have to buy new trousers, but because I don’t fit into skinny jeans. Maybe next year some designer will find out, that there are a lot of women out here, who do not fit into any skinny jeans, because they have a more female form than the average anorexia victim.

Second thing learnt: winter shoe season ends mid-december. I remarked, that recently snow and ice might prefer March over January. And the nice lady in the shop answered, she knew, but industry didn’t. Didn’t help me much.

So I combed through the left-overs from this years winter-shoe-season:

  • Heels in any form, even 8cm: goes great with heavy ice, doesn’t it? It has become even easier to break your ankle. And I also couldn’t wear those shoes at work, because my feet would be killing me around lunch time.
  • If a corset pushes up your breasts, it is doing its job. If a boot shaft “pushes up” your calf, you look like +20kg and you can’t walk anymore.
  • There are winter balerinas. Like, very useful in ankle deep snow or heavy rain.
  • Useful winter shoes (boots, half-boots, whatever) go by the term “rustic”. Sounds like “rusty”? Guess how I felt on being told “ah you’re looking for something more rustic”…
  • Left overs are very, very slim. I can put them on, but my feet start hurting after 30s.

SO, no shoes for me. Dammit.